Some glaring and clandestine traces of corruption in our country need not be regarded as useless and embarrassing. They could be converted into something else. Yes, converted into something like tourist spots for local and foreign tourists to behold with awe. We have many of them for our collection, ready for public viewing, and more than enough to earn the country plenty of dollars.
Take for instance the fascinating collection of corruption-induced architectural marvels. If you think Italy’s Leaning Tower of Pisa is intriguing, wait until you see the Unfinished Yolanda Shelters! These shelters, promised to the survivors of the devastating typhoon, could comprise an open-air museum displaying structures that echo the hollow promises of accountability and progress. They stand as a testament to the Filipino spirit—resilient and capable of living in a state of perpetual “almost there.”
Next, tourists can visit the famous ‘Riverless Bridge’. Forget the London Bridge or the Brooklyn Bridge; this masterpiece spans over nothing but bureaucratic incompetence and greed. It’s a perfect spot for selfies, especially if you enjoy pondering existential questions about the purpose of life, much like the bridge itself, which questions the very concept of connectivity. Local guides will regale you with tales of budget approvals and mysterious disappearances of said budgets, leaving you both amused and slightly outraged.
For those with a taste for irony, the ‘Bridge with No Roads to Connect’ offers a unique experience. Imagine a grand bridge that majestically connects two lush fields of grass. It’s an architectural metaphor for the Philippines’ journey towards progress—grand intentions leading nowhere. The bridge, like many a political promise, exists in splendid isolation, begging the question: who needs roads when you have such an impressive standalone structure?
If you enjoy destruction with a touch of farce, you’ll love the phenomenon of ‘Wholesome Roads Being Destroyed Just to Be Repaired’. It’s a live-action comedy where perfectly good roads are demolished and rebuilt, often ending up in worse conditions than before. It’s a cyclical spectacle of productivity that keeps the local construction businesses booming and the taxpayers’ money flowing, much like a never-ending sitcom of inefficiency.
For the adventurous tourist, roads that remain in the worst conditions despite the passing of years or decades offer a rugged experience. These roads are historical artifacts, untouched by modern progress. They provide a challenging drive that tests your vehicle’s suspension and your patience. As you negotiate the potholes and craters, you can’t help but admire the steadfast neglect and wonder if the road is an intentional obstacle course designed by some mischievous deity.
In our tour, we cannot miss the ‘Acquired Equipment That Remains Unusable’. This exhibit features state-of-the-art machinery and vehicles that were bought with such cunning skill that they arrived with defects. It’s a showcase of procurement genius, where the goal seems to have been to buy equipment that looks impressive on paper but is utterly useless in practice. A great spot for technophiles who appreciate the irony of high-tech equipment serving as high-end scrap metal.
The ‘Buildings and Infrastructures with Substandard Quality’ segment of the tour is particularly eye-opening. These edifices look impressive at first glance, but upon closer inspection, reveal the marvels of cutting corners. From cracking walls to leaking roofs, these structures are the physical embodiment of the phrase “you get what you pay for,” or rather, what’s left after the funds have been creatively reallocated. They stand as proof to creative budgeting and are a must-see for aspiring architects and engineers.
Then we have the perennial favorites: unfinished government projects of all kinds. These sites, scattered across the country, offer a diverse range of almost-built hospitals, half-completed schools, and semi-functional public utilities. They are interactive exhibits where you can let your imagination run wild, picturing what could have been if only the funds had gone to the right places. It’s a heartwarming reminder that in the Philippines, progress is a journey, not a destination—often a journey that gets perpetually rerouted by the detours of corruption.
