I’ve always recognized the freedom to be who you are, and that applies just as much to the LGBTQIA+ community as it does to anyone else. If someone feels that they are a different gender from what the world sees or if they love in ways that traditional norms may not always understand, I don’t see why anyone should stop them from embracing that. But—and this is the part that gets tricky—it’s one thing to live your truth, and another thing entirely to expect everyone else to live by that same truth. There’s got to be some space where people can coexist, even with their differing views, without feeling forced into adopting each other’s beliefs.
I understand the struggle of LGBTQIA+ folks; it takes guts to stand up against centuries of societal norms and carve out an identity that feels authentic to them. It’s a deeply personal journey, and no one else can walk that road for them. But I’ve noticed that in pushing for acceptance, there’s sometimes this quiet demand that straight people not only accept but believe the same things. And to be honest, that’s where I started to feel a bit uneasy. I’m all for respecting someone else’s perspective, but why does that mean I have to change mine? It’s not that I’m rigid or closed-minded, but I also want the same respect for the fact that I see the world differently. There’s a fine line between seeking validation and imposing a worldview on others.
It’s like this: imagine you’re at a potluck, and everyone brings their favorite dish. You’ve got someone who’s into exotic cuisine—let’s say, some spicy, off-the-wall recipe that most people haven’t tried before. It’s great they’re proud of it, but it doesn’t mean everyone at the table has to load up their plate with it if it’s not to their taste. Let people enjoy their meal, and if someone wants to try something new, they will. It’s the same with identity. You can present yourself however you wish, but expecting everyone to embrace the same flavor of life feels a bit like serving a dish with no regard for someone else’s preferences.
Of course, the irony is that LGBTQIA+ advocacy has always been about freedom—freedom to love who you love, freedom to express who you are. But then, why is it sometimes suggested that straight people should get with the program and adopt the same beliefs, almost as if they’re behind the times if they don’t? Let’s not forget that freedom is a two-way street. Straight people, or anyone for that matter, have the right to say, “That’s not how I see things,” without being labeled as bigoted or close-minded. To me, that’s real freedom—when we can all walk down different roads without forcing each other into the same lane.
I’ve had conversations with friends who identify as LGBTQIA+, and while I respect where they’re coming from, I also feel like there’s this subtle pressure in the air. It’s like there’s a checklist now—you must use the right pronouns, and accept fluid identities as fact, and if you hesitate for even a second, you’re suddenly part of the problem. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll gladly call someone whatever they want to be called, but it feels less like a mutual understanding and more like a demand sometimes. And honestly, that kind of pressure doesn’t make me feel more understanding, it makes me feel cornered. Who enjoys being told what to think or how to behave?
What gets lost in all this, I think, is the idea that people are capable of holding different beliefs without hating each other. I can disagree with someone’s identity without denying their right to live that way. Just like how I can prefer classic country music while someone else loves hip-hop. We’re not in a cultural war over it—just two people with different tastes. So why does it seem like when it comes to gender and sexuality, things have to be so black and white? It’s as if there’s no room for respectful disagreement anymore. You either buy into the whole package, or you’re out of touch.
And honestly, straight people aren’t immune to confusion either. Let’s not pretend that everyone who’s cisgender has got life all figured out. There are plenty of straight folks trying to sort out their issues, and the last thing they need is to feel like they’re obligated to buy into a concept that doesn’t resonate with them. It’s not about being threatened by someone else’s freedom, but more about being allowed to maintain their sense of reality. If someone’s version of reality says they’re a man or a woman in the traditional sense, that should be okay, too. It doesn’t mean they’re rejecting others’ realities; they just don’t want to deny their own.
What I think we need is a middle ground—a space where people can be unapologetically themselves without expecting everyone else to follow suit. If someone wants to live out their truth, I’m all for it, but let’s not pretend that one version of reality is the gold standard for everyone. If there’s one thing that might help, it’s the realization that freedom includes the freedom to disagree. Maybe, just maybe, we can start appreciating our differences without making anyone feel like they’re on the wrong side of history for simply thinking differently.
