I wonder if this rings a bell to you: a small farmer, who spent months taking care of his crops, finds that he has been robbed—not only by the hands of thieves who steal at night but even by the unblushing neighbors who beg without shame. Ingrained in the hearts of this parasitic culture is the fact that hard work is not an option to be respected or rewarded. It just becomes an exercise in futility. Why plant at all if people only plant for others to steal or demand for free?

Farming is already a gamble—a constant wrestling match with weather, pests, and rising costs of fertilizers and seeds. And yet, for many in the provinces, the biggest challenge is not nature but the human element—those who believe that a neighbor’s sweat is their entitlement. They do not think of the hours spent under the punishing sun, the blisters on their hands, and the backaches from bending over the fields. All that they see is a tree heavy with fruit and think, “That should be mine.” It is not generosity that keeps them from planting their own but the certainty that someone else will do the labor for them.

What is even more infuriating is how society defends this culture under the guise of hospitality and bayanihan. Bayanihan, as it was meant to be, was about mutual aid—helping one another in times of need, not an excuse to mooch off of someone else’s livelihood. But over the years, it had degenerated into a monstrous affair. A farmer, helplessly watching as people steal his crops with impunity, is mean-spirited if he says no. The thief shows no shame, instead, playing the victim: “Guti-ay man la ini! Diri ka maaram magpa-angbit?” (It’s just so little! Don’t you know how to share?)

The real victim—the planter—is made to feel guilty for expecting to keep what is rightfully his. This corrosive mentality is why some countryside stagnates. It forces many farmers to give up entirely or shift to work that doesn’t involve constant pilfering. It breeds resentment and breaks the very community spirit it claims to uphold. And for what? A few stolen mangoes? A sack of pilfered corn? The cost of these stolen goods is not measured in pesos but in the loss of ambition, the impairment of trust, and the slow death of a culture that once thrived on industry and pride.

Even animals have more sense than this. A carabao works for its fodder. A hen lays eggs because she is fed. But the human parasites do not even have the dignity of beasts of burden—they take without giving as if their existence alone entitles them to another man’s effort. Worse, they dare to take umbrage if confronted, as if being exposed for theft is more shameful than the theft itself.

Some justify this behavior with the phrase, “At least they ask.” But is it asking if it’s responded to with gossip, bitterness, or accusations of selfishness when the request is denied? Real giving is voluntary. It’s an act of kindness, not out of fear of social consequences. And real neighborliness means respecting a boundary, not exploiting it. There’s nothing wrong with refusing a request that saying yes will only serve to reward laziness and entitlement.

One might say that sharing is part of Filipino culture, but so is self-reliance. Our forefathers tilled the land, erected houses, and reared families with a work ethic. They did not wait around to reap where another had sown. It is a sad irony in today’s life—when the tools are better and resources more available—that some go backward—to leech rather than labor.

The answer is simple but hard: cultural adjustment. People need to learn that there is no virtue in taking what they did not earn. Farmers and planters must stand their ground, refusing to be bullied by tradition or guilt. The countryside should be a place where industry thrives, not where it’s punished. Otherwise, the fields will remain empty, and the only thing left to harvest will be resentment.

THE secret, of course, is to go to Christ. That’s the main message of the readings of Tuesday of the 4th Week in Ordinary Time. In the first reading, from the Letter to the Hebrews, we are told:

“Looking on Jesus, the author and finisher of faith, who having joy set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and now sitteth on the right hand of the throne of God. For think diligently upon him that endured such opposition from sinners against himself; that you be not wearied, fainting in your minds.” (12,2-3)

The same truth of our Christian faith is reiterated in the gospel reading of the day where two characters, Jairus, one of the synagogue leaders, and a woman under an issue of blood, went to Christ asking for help. (cfr. Mk 5,21-43)

We should see to it that our reaction to anything that bothers us is to immediately go to Christ without wasting time, allowing shame and fear to stop us from going to him. Christ always listens and gives in to our request, but in forms and ways that may not coincide with what we have in mind.

We cannot deny that in our life, we will always be hounded by all sorts of challenges and trials, temptations and other forms of evil that come from our usual enemies—our wounded flesh, the sinful allurements of the world, and the devil himself.

Especially when we think our suffering is self-inflicted because of our spiritual and moral weakness, we should not hesitate to go to Christ. What we have to remind ourselves always is that Christ has borne all our weaknesses and sins, and the suffering they bring, and converted them into a way of our salvation.

We should not stay long agonizing because of our weaknesses and sins. What helps, of course, is to unite our suffering due to our weaknesses and sins with the saving passion, death and resurrection of Christ. We should avoid suffering on our own. We should never keep our suffering from Christ.

That is why it is a good practice to regularly meditate on the passion, death and resurrection of Christ so we would know how to properly deal with our unavoidable weaknesses and sins. By so doing, we somehow would receive some strength to face and overcome them. In any event, by meditating on this culminating redemptive work of Christ, we would feel assured that victory would always be at hand.

We have to learn to be quick to go back to Christ who will always welcome us no matter how ugly our mistakes are. We should also learn to be quick to say sorry to God and to all the others who may be involved in our misdeeds, defects and predicaments.

We, obviously, need also to learn how to be tough with the toughness of Christ who knows how to blend it always with gentleness and patience. In short, we have to have the mind and attitude of Christ when developing and practicing both toughness and patience. Only then would these virtues acquire their true value and would play along the providence of God

Thus, for this blend to take place, we need to be vitally united with Christ. And for this purpose, we should continually ask for God’s grace. In fact, the first thing we should do when we need to be both tough and patient is to ask for God’s grace.

Ours is an educational system that had been subjected to experiments in the quest for one that would fit our learners. The present system is a result of various influences, mostly from foreign nations that held our country for long years. Spanish colonization had greatly influenced our education that was carried by religious women and men who established schools in various parts of the archipelago.

Over three centuries of education under the Spaniards was ingrained in our culture and practices. Social norms were rooted on what foreign invaders taught our people in the early ages of our nation. The influence truly obliterated the culture, practices and social norms of our ancestors who were in occupation of our archipelago long before foreigners came to conquer our nation and people.

Changes in the educational system were introduced by American invaders who took the reign of power from Spain. The formal educational system was patterned after the American education model. It also introduced its own culture and practices that were totally different. It placed Filipinos into its mould and redirected the national thinking towards its direction, away from the Spanish influence and far from the local culture and practices of our people. There too was the influence of Japan which took over the country before its defeat in the second world war.

All the foreign educational systems miserably failed to consider the Filipino as the learner being subjected to fit into its mould. This is why our education remains a changing system subject to continuing experimentation. What is unfortunate is the fact that the unending experiments use learners as its object of study. The waste of human resources used in such experiments that go wrong has repercussions too tough to undo. The learners’ mind had been indoctrinated with knowledge that would later be found inapt or totally wrong.

In the mainstream of public discourse is the proposal to rid learners from homework. The practice had been ingrained over the years and various sectors raise opinions that are often diametrically opposed. The practice of requiring learners to take some school work home is being justified as an effective way of instilling discipline. The position in favor homework as part of the educational curriculum is being pushed in accord to such discipline argument. On the other hand, those against homework see the practice as mere good riddance for teachers to unload their tasks for students to work on.

This writer sees homework as a burden to the learner and the parents that are sought for help to do the assigned task. It creates an unjust situation for learners whose parents are not capable to extend help. On a practical point, it deprives the learner the time to enjoy on other learning experience outside the classroom as they bring school work to still work at home.

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The business world, a melting pot of diverse perspectives, can sometimes feel like a communication minefield. While we strive for equality, ingrained gender differences in communication styles can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities. Understanding these nuances can foster better collaboration, build stronger relationships, and ultimately lead to greater success.

The Roots of Communication Differences:

The differences in communication styles between men and women often stem from societal conditioning and cultural norms. From childhood, boys and girls are often socialized differently, leading to distinct communication patterns. While these generalizations don’t apply to everyone, they offer a framework for understanding common trends.

Men: Direct and Task-Oriented

Men tend to communicate in a more direct, task-oriented manner. They often prioritize efficiency and focus on conveying information quickly and concisely. This can be perceived as assertive, confident, and even aggressive by some.

– Directness: Men are more likely to use a direct, assertive tone, focusing on the facts and solutions.

– Competition: They may engage in more competitive communication, using language that emphasizes their achievements and positions them as leaders.

-Problem-Solving: Their communication often revolves around identifying and solving problems, with a focus on finding practical solutions.

Women: Collaborative and Relationship-Focused

Women often communicate in a more collaborative and relationship-focused manner. They prioritize building connections, understanding emotions, and fostering a sense of community. This can be seen as nurturing, empathetic, and even indirect by some.

– Indirectness: Women may use a more indirect approach, seeking to build consensus and avoid confrontation.

– Collaboration: They often prioritize teamwork and communication that fosters a sense of shared understanding.

– Emotional Intelligence: Women tend to be more attuned to emotions and use language that reflects empathy and understanding.

Navigating the Communication Gap:

Understanding these differences is crucial for effective communication in the business environment. Here are some strategies for bridging the gap:

– Active Listening: Engage in active listening, decoding both spoken words and unspoken cues. This involves asking clarifying questions, summarizing key points, and showing genuine interest.

– Empathy and Understanding: Try to understand the other person’s perspective, even if it differs from your own. Acknowledge their feelings and strive to see the situation from their point of view.

– Clear and Concise Communication: Use clear and concise language, avoiding jargon or overly complex terminology. Align your tone and body language with your message for a powerful and authentic delivery.

– Feedback and Openness: Encourage constructive feedback and be open to receiving criticism. This can help identify potential misunderstandings and foster a culture of continuous improvement.

Bridging the communication gap between men and women can lead to numerous benefits:

– Improved Teamwork: Effective communication fosters collaboration, leading to more efficient and productive teams.

– Stronger Relationships: Understanding communication styles helps build trust and rapport, leading to stronger working relationships.

– Increased Innovation: Diverse perspectives and communication styles encourage creativity and innovation, leading to better solutions and ideas.

– Reduced Conflict: Clear communication minimizes misunderstandings and reduces the potential for conflict, creating a more harmonious work environment.

Conclusion:

The business world thrives on effective communication. While gender differences in communication styles are often subtle, understanding them is crucial for fostering collaboration, building strong relationships, and achieving success. By practicing active listening, empathy, and clear communication, we can bridge the gap and create a more inclusive and productive work environment for all.
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If you have any questions or would like to share your thoughts on the column, feel free to send an email to jca.bblueprint@gmail.com. Looking forward to connecting with you!