DOMS PAGLIAWAN

Growing old is often portrayed as a blessing, a reward for a life well-lived. Many people dream of reaching old age, seeing it as a milestone that signifies wisdom, experience, and perhaps even a sense of fulfillment. However, the reality of growing old is much more complex and often harsher than the idealized version that society tends to celebrate. As the years pass, we begin to lose much of what we once held dear—our strength, our senses, our abilities, and even the people who once surrounded us. It’s a gradual process of letting go, and while it might be dressed up as an achievement, it’s hard to ignore the losses that come with it.

The first thing we lose as we age is our physical strength. The body that once could endure long hours of work, lift heavy loads, and run for miles begins to weaken. Once effortless tasks become challenging, there’s a growing dependence on others for help. This loss of strength is not just physical; it can also be deeply emotional. The realization that we are no longer as capable as we once were is a difficult pill to swallow, and it often brings with it a sense of vulnerability that can be unsettling.

Along with strength, we begin to lose our senses—our eyesight dims, our hearing fades, and our sense of smell weakens. These changes can feel like the world is slowly being taken away from us, piece by piece. The vibrant colors of life become muted, conversations become harder to follow, and the simple pleasure of smelling a flower or tasting a favorite meal loses its intensity. These losses are not just about the senses themselves but about the connections they allow us to maintain with the world around us. As they fade, so too does our ability to engage fully with life.

Then there’s the loss of our appearance, which society places so much value on. The firm skin, the full head of hair, the bright eyes—all begin to fade. For many, this can be a source of deep sadness, as it feels like losing a part of oneself that was once a source of confidence. The mirror becomes a reminder of time’s relentless march, and with it comes the realization that we are no longer seen in the same way by others. The loss of beauty is also a loss of how we once fit into the world, and how we were perceived and treated by others.

Old age also brings with it the loss of memory, one of the most painful aspects of aging. Our minds, once sharp and quick, begin to dull. Names, dates, and faces start to slip away, and with them, the stories that made up our lives. It’s not just the loss of memory itself, but the fear that comes with it—the fear of losing our sense of self, our identity. When we can no longer remember the details of our own lives, who we are. This loss can lead to a sense of isolation, as we feel disconnected not only from others but also from our past.

As if these personal losses weren’t enough, growing old often means losing the people we love. Friends, siblings, and sometimes even our children pass away, leaving behind a void that can never truly be filled. The loneliness that comes with these losses can be overwhelming, turning what should be a time of rest and reflection into a period of deep grief. The loss of companionship, of shared memories and experiences, is a loss that cuts deep, leaving us to navigate the later years of life largely alone.

We also lose our roles in society—our careers, our positions, and the respect and admiration that often come with them. Retirement, while freeing in some ways, can also feel like a loss of purpose. We no longer have the same influence or authority, and in many cases, we are no longer as relevant. This can lead to a sense of insignificance, as if the world is moving on without us, and our contributions are no longer needed or valued.

Here’s more; growing old often means losing hope. With so many losses—physical, mental, emotional, and social—it can be hard to find reasons to keep going. The future that once seemed so full of possibilities now feels limited, and the fear of what lies ahead can be paralyzing. The isolation and loneliness, combined with the loss of so much that once brought joy and meaning to life, can lead to a deep sense of despair. It’s no wonder many people in their later years struggle with feelings of hopelessness and desperation.

So why do we crave such a life? Perhaps it’s because the alternative—dying young—is even more terrifying. But as we dream of reaching old age, it’s important to remember that it’s not just a time of wisdom and reflection; it’s also a time of loss, weakness, and isolation. It’s a period of life that forces us to confront our mortality, and in doing so, it reveals just how fragile and fleeting life is.